To: All pet lovers whose best animal friend means the world to them, who grieve their loss and who continue to want only the best for them
From: BJ Burman healer, advisor, advocate
Dear fellow pet lover and kind soul,
If you seek a path through the pain and the grief of pet loss,
if you feel there must be more than this life for both you and your pet,
if you feel your pet is worth that extra special care as they journey beyond this life,
OR, if you simply long for answers, meaning, guidance through this difficult time
Hi, my name is BJ and as painful or as hopeless as things may seem right now, there is a healing way, a path beyond grief where the dying and death of the pet you love so much can be a beautiful and transformative experience for you both.
I didn’t always know this however, but my journey has revealed this truth.
I love my animals. I love them with all my heart and soul. And I know you love yours in exactly the same way. Each of us know, on an intellectual level, that the animals we love will die, as must we all. But this knowledge does not necessarily ease the pain. Anyone who has lost their beloved animal friend knows this only too well.
When I lost my first and much-loved pussycat, Licky (I named her ‘Licky’ because when she was a kitten she would lick everything, and I mean everything! My face, my feet…the furniture! She was beautiful J) I was very young, around 7 years old. I suppose my mother was trying to protect me when she shielded me from the fact that Licky was sick. And one day, my beautiful little pussycat was gone. I was told she had gone to a better place to live and that she was happy.
…What? As an adult, I see what my mother was trying to do, but it left me with such a void, such a hole in my heart, and a deep, deep sadness and feeling of loss that made my young heart so much heavier than it needed to be.
You see, even though I was a child, deep down inside I knew something very important had happened, and that I was not able to say good-bye, and it broke my heart. I was left with questions, and so many tears.
As an adult, the pain is no different. I have experienced this. I know you have too.
We use the word ‘pet’, but I wish there was a better word…Best animal friend? Furbaby? Fur-child? Furry friend? The word ‘pet’ doesn’t really describe the real relationship we humans have with the animals we love. They are our best friend, or they are like a child, or as many people I know say, they are simply fully fledged totally equal family members!
They are our comfort in lonely times, our hope in hard times. They bring out a capacity for love and affection that perhaps we didn’t even know we possessed. They teach us about life, and about love.
They have a very real, very important and very deep purpose in our life, which is why the grief that we feel when they die is so profound, and which is also why it is so important to be aware of the spiritual dimension of our relationship with them, in life and in death.
Death, Loss and Grief, Especially When it Comes to Our Pets, are Some of the Least Understood and Least Talked About Parts of our Life
Often we animal-lovers do not feel ‘understood’ in our grief. ‘Well meaning’ friends may even say “It was just an animal, only a pet, time to move on”! Our grief is somehow diminished in importance because the object of our love and loss is animal, not human. So we often don’t know how to cope with this grief, who we can talk to, what we can do, or whether we should be feeling this way at all!
Psychologist Dr Wallace Sife, who specializes in the area of pet loss, says that when it comes to grieving the death of a pet, the emotions are the same as grieving the loss or death of a person that we love:
‘For the most part, the stages are similar: you deal with shock and denial, anger and distancing, guilt, depression. But the final stage is not closure, it is resolution. You grieve and want to move forward in a way that memorializes them.’ (Dr Wallace Sife)
From my encounters with many other pet lovers who have loved and lost, our grief can indeed display the same characteristics whether it is pet loss or human loss – we cry (often uncontrollably), we weep; feel confused, isolated, alone, vulnerable, angry, hopeless, helpless, guilty; experience despair, numbness, forgetfulness, fatigue; and our everyday life can feel like it has been turned upside down!
Since my first experience as a seven year old with ‘Licky’, I have nursed a broken heart several more times, all completely normal, however I never stopped seeking an answer, never stopped my exploration to discover a better path for pet lovers and our best animal friends everywhere.
It took me many years after my intense grieving experiences to understand death and grieving—to understand that there is a healing way, for both human and animal, to journey through the death and dying process, so that this experience can become a beautiful and transformative experience for you and for the pet you love so much. Healing and hope is possible. In short –
“Understanding the process when our beautiful animal friend pet is dying or has died, when we know what to do, gives the experience much more meaning and consequently, much more peace, resulting in a better death for your little loved one and greater healing for you.”
Accidents happen. Tragedy can strike. Pets can go missing. They can die from illness. They can die from old age. They may be euthanized.
If the death is sudden, the grief starts right there and then, with a powerful force.
However, the grief of loss (or of impending loss) can start even before your beloved furbaby has died. If your little one has been diagnosed with a terminal illness or is nearing the end of a long life, the grief can set in early.
This can be a particularly difficult situation when you are trying to manage your own grief while giving your little one the best possible end-of-life care.
My grief has struck from various directions over the years and one experience in particular was a particularly hard lesson I learnt.
I’ve loved my ‘babies’ (mostly cats, dogs and birds) like children. And for a long time, just the thought of losing them was enough to send me into a depression that I just didn’t want to face.
Just the thought of losing them was too much to bear. How cruel that such beautiful creatures have only a short life compared to ours, and that we will have so many years of life left in which to miss them!
Death does inevitably arrive and I came to know precisely ‘what not to do’ through my own heartbreaking and devastating experience involving my departed kitty Feynman.
I cried uncontrollably when I lost him. Could things get any worse?
I loved Feynie (my nickname for Feynman, whom I named after one of my favourite physicists, the quirky and brilliant Richard Feynman) from the first moment I saw him, at my local cat shelter. I think Feynie chose me more than I chose him. He was just a little kitten, and as soon as he saw me, he made his way over to me and sniffed and snuggled me. Needless to say, I was a gonner. I fell completely head over heals in love.
Feynie was an old soul—wise and regal, it was obvious. There was something special about him, that something special that certain cats and certain dogs have.
He was with me for nearly 15 years. I was expecting a few more. But one night, he was run over. And so began my nightmare.
In my desperation to save Feynie’s life, I insisted my husband put him in the car and drive him to the vet. Meanwhile, frantic and on adrenalin, I was ringing every vet in the city, trying to find one that was open late at night, hoping beyond hope that my husband would get Feynie there in time and his life would be saved.
It wasn’t to be. Feynie died in the back of our car, while I was at home ringing vet after vet…after vet.
If only I knew then what I know now!
I have a pretty good vocabulary, but I have no words for the devastation I felt at the moment my husband walked back into the house with Feynie in his arms, dead. There was no denying it now.
What I felt was beyond words, beyond crying…I could barely breathe as I held Feynie in my arms. For all my desperate attempts at saving his life, Feynie died…and I wasn’t there for him.
That is my biggest regret. I could have been with him, comforting him, sharing his last moments with him just as we had shared our life. But I wasn’t.
It’s never too late though!
What I soon realized was that although I had missed the opportunity to help Feynie while he was dying, I had another incredible opportunity to help him RIGHT NOW! This knowledge brought me such incredible peace and relief. At last, I was able to make Feynie’s death all about him, instead of all about me.
That was a defining moment for me. I vowed not only to honor Feynie, even though his spirit had left his body, but I also promised that no other death from that point on would be wasted.
I’d always been interested in death and dying, things of a spiritual nature, but now, after losing Feynie (and it was not long before this that my father had died, also), my motivation became compelling. I HAD to find out, if at all possible, more about death, about what happens during and after death, and what we can do to make this experience a better one, for ourselves and for others. I was driven.
I studied the subject, attended many retreats and conferences, and became involved in hospice work. So by the time it was Coco’s turn to die, I was ready…
A year or so later, when it came time for my Coco to die, I was prepared. I held her in my arms, I recited words and phrases that I had specially prepared, I whispered that I loved her and that there was nothing to fear.
When Coco died, I was able to help her through her death (and by helping her, I was helping myself, too).
I was able to apply all the crucial lessons I’d learned:
And because I had two children, one of whom was still quite young (and remembering my own experience with ‘Licky’ when I just seven), I was able to guide them through the process also, helping them to help Coco, helping them to deal positively with their thoughts and emotions, and giving them a first-hand understanding of death and dying, and how peaceful and meaningful it can be.
This death was beautiful, for me, for my family and I know for Coco. As much as I loved her, just like I loved Feynie, the grief was so very different, because I had been able to do things differently, do things in a peaceful and loving and meaningful way, for us all.
‘We share a bond, eternal and strong; in life and in death, our love lives on.’
We humans are emotional, thinking beings, we need to do, we need to be. There is a way to not only love the life we share with our beloved animal baby, but also a way to make their inevitable death a significantly loving, healing and peaceful event, for both of you. Peace and tranquility is possible. Love, hope and meaning can be the cornerstones.
Since Coco’s death, I have devoted myself to helping people deal positively with the loss of their beloved pet—to not only deal with the emotional, thinking and practical aspects, but very importantly, to deal with the spiritual aspects. Not in a religious or a secular way, but simply with acknowledgement to the world’s great wisdom traditions of both east and west.
You can actively and easily engage with practical spiritual methods to help your pet and yourself, so that you don’t have to stand by feeling helpless, overwhelmed by grief, and can instead feel secure in the knowledge that you have helped your beloved pet have the best possible death. This is the greatest cure for grief.
This Makes All The Difference. This Path Is Possible For You Too, And I Show You Step By Step How.
These have been my experiences, and this is why I wrote this guide. The practical aspects of death and dying, and the emotional aspects of pet loss are essential—and I certainly deal with all those.
However unlike many ‘how to cope’ books out there, The Heart & Soul Pet Loss Guide also helps you to deal with the spiritual aspects, the spiritual needs of you and your pet. It gives you genuine and practical spiritual advice, guidance and techniques to ensure the best for your beloved pet, and to help you heal at a much deeper level.
The insights, the simple steps we can take, the practical do’s and don’ts, the inclusion of all the important spiritual aspects are not aimed at ‘taking away the pain’— no-one can do that — but they will set you and your pet free to reveal the wonderful meaning in this thing called life and the beauty of the afterlife while providing the necessary comfort, compassion and solace for you who are left grieving.
‘Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon;
And a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.’
(Rossiter Worthington Raymond)
and you’re not quite sure what to say or do, how to help, then give them the gift of the ‘ Heart & Soul Pet Loss Guide’. It will be the most loving, caring and healing thing you can do for them.
“What we have enjoyed, we can never lose—
what we have loved deeply becomes a part of us.”
Just the right book for anyone dealing with the loss of a beloved pet. September 4, 2013.
I love `The Heart & Soul Pet Loss Guide’. It was recommended to me by a friend, and I’m so glad he told me about it. My beautiful, beautiful cat and dog passed away within days of each other, and although I was devastated, I just don’t know how I would have coped without the advice in this book. I loved them so much, and it really meant the world to me to be able to help them when they were dying. It helped me, too. I loved using the MP3 meditation, and it still soothes me when I’m feeling upset.
I really liked the spiritual elements in the book, because I was looking for something more than just the practicalities of everything. I liked that it wasn’t too full-on, but was something that I could manage and wasn’t over my head. It really helped, and still does when I’m feeling sad, which I still do sometimes. I go back into the book and apply some of the advice to help me even now when I’m feeling like that. And I can feel myself slowly healing, I really can.
A beautiful, healing book.
Great book. July 4, 2013.
I loved the mantras in this book, as well as the personal anecdotes about the strong bond between animals and humans. There’s nothing more hurtful than to be told one’s pet is ‘just an animal’. The author assures readers that our beloved pets do have souls that survive death. Overall, this is a really great work.
Losing a pet can be heartbreaking, but the spirit can fly. May 25, 2013.
I too have suffered the devastation of losing my beloved pet (my gorgeous kitty I got from the RSPCA—I called him ‘Frozen’ because the cardboard box I brought him home in had a ‘frozen goods’ sticker on it). I felt so lucky finding Frozen, it felt like fate—just meant to be. He was my soul mate and ‘brick’ when things got tough. Frozen and my journey together would last but a few months! One day I arrived home to a neighbor’s message that Frozen had been run over.
He had placed Frozen in a blanket, in a quiet part of the house until I could get him. I brought him inside, lit some candles, lay beside him and spoke very gently to him, wishing him well on his journey. I knew that saying a prayer for Frozen while passing over would help bring peace to us both, just as BJ suggested. I’m so glad I did this (I still listen to BJ’s meditations). Also, I didn’t rush to bury my precious one (Chapter 11). I treasure those extra moments we got to share together. The guidance from BJ’s book, help my healing from this sudden and tragic event. As heartbreaking as it was, I did feel some inner peace knowing that all will be and is okay. See you again Frozen.
Impressive Pet Loss Guide. May 21, 2013.
I wish I had read this pet loss guide earlier as it would have saved me such a lot of grief after losing my fabulous little puppy, Sammy. Losing a pet is very traumatic and even though I’ve just read this guide, it has helped me come to terms with what happened and I feel much better for it. Thank you, BJ Burman.
Lovely and practical pet loss guide. May 17, 2013.
I found this book to be so helpful. I’m really glad that I found it, because now I feel that I’ll be able to deal with losing a pet so much better than I have done in the past. At the very least, I’ll have a much healthier way of understanding and managing what’s going on. I regret not knowing this information before, but I’ll be so much better at helping my pets in a loving way now. Thanks so much for writing it, BJ.
My book is called ‘Heart & Soul Pet Loss Guide’. It is about your heart, your emotions AND you and your pet’s spirit. Yes, a key word here is spiritual. But spiritual is not the same as religious. Do you have to belong to a particular religion to benefit from the guidance in my book? Absolutely not. Do you have to be religious at all to benefit from the guidance in my book? Absolutely not.
All you need is an open mind, or a sense that there must be ‘something else’ after this life, or even just a willingness to accept that there might be. If you’ve loved a pet like I have, then you’ve loved with all your heart and soul. This is another form of spirituality. If you have loved in this way, then this book is for you.
It’s NEVER too late to help your pet and heal yourself. You see the thing is, spirit is eternal. I missed my first opportunity to help my beautiful cat Feynman while he was dying, but I certainly didn’t miss the opportunity I had AFTER he died.
And to this day, nearly two years later, I STILL use these spiritual healing methods to great effect.
That’s the beauty of this spiritual method—you can use it WHENEVER and FOREVER. Even if your beloved little furbaby died many years ago, you can STILL use the spiritual method to help him AND help yourself.
This is a common question. After all, we want to be SURE that the ones we love are safe and happy. That’s why I’ve included a special bonus gift, ‘Case Studies Proving Life After Death For Pets’ to help you with this very question.
The scientific evidence support that YES, THERE IS AN AFTERLIFE, for us AND for our pets. But not only this, it has been my experience that this is true. And if you hone your intuition and listen to it, you will also know from your own experience that this is true.
Have no doubt that life after death for animals (and humans) is absolutely true.
The answer to this is, No—absolutely not! Although most domestic pets are cats or dogs, the fact is that every single living being is spirit. Every single living thing experiences birth and death transitions, just like humans do. So every single living thing can benefit from the guidance I give in my book. Every single living thing.
NO. Mantras belong to EVERY being. They are the sound of our true nature, and of spiritual power. Once again, all you need is a sincere desire combined with a loving heart.
Mantras (certainly the ones I refer to in my book) come from an ancient tradition, thousands of years old, at least. In there essence, they have existed forever.
Revealed by truly advanced spiritual beings for the benefit of all living beings throughout all time, mantras have been understood only through a disciplined wisdom practice.
Yes, by all means, you can buy another pet. But if you think this is going to mean you ‘get over’ the loss of your previous pet, then you are perhaps in denial. If you have loved, deeply loved, your pet, you don’t ‘get over’ their death.
Their death changes you, irrevocably and forever. If you adopt the practical and spiritual methods I’ve recommended in my book, you can certainly heal your grief more quickly and at a deeper level than you otherwise might. And therefore, you may want another beautiful little furbaby in your life. But do not confuse yourself, or delude yourself, that by getting another pet, you have either ‘forgotten’ or ‘gotten over’ the one you’ve lost.
Any loss demands attention, and healing. You need to make sure you do this. Then your heart can expand to truly love again, and to love more.
Here’s a quick preview of what valuable information you will have at your fingertips…
What not to do when your pet is dying (Page 7)
Letting go with peace and love (Page 15)
What happens to animals when they die (the after life) (Page 12)
Practical steps to create a peaceful passing (Page 16)
The extraordinary power of prayer and mantra (Page 19)
Which prayers and mantras to use for each stage of dying and death (Page 21)
Involving your children in a positive and meaningful way (Page 22)
Important considerations for euthanasia (Page 24)
After death care and prayer (Page 33)
how to deal with a sudden/tragic death (Page 38)
Unique and special ways to remember your pet (Page 40)
Understanding and dealing with your grief (Page 43)
The support of family and friends (Page 46)
Extra resources and additional help (Page 49)
Download the Guide Today
The ebook will be instantly delivered as a PDF
Free Gift #1 – Valued at $17
Healing Meditation / Mantra (Audio-MP3) – I guide you through a beautiful, powerful and healing meditation. Perfect for you and your pet. With this original recording, you will…
- Create a beautiful ambient environment for your sick pet
- Listen to sounds that will soothe you and your pet
- Learn a powerful mantra you can use to help your pet during sickness or after death
- Use to ease your grief after your pet has died
Free Gift #2 – Valued at $25
Online memorials: A unique way to remember, celebrate and share your pet’s life – An ebook detailing beautiful traditional and non-traditional memorial service options. Honoring the life of your beautiful furbaby by remembering, celebrating and sharing their life, is psychologist recommended technique to help you and your family with your grief.
- Wonderful ideas about using the internet to remember your pet
- How to keep your memorial private
- Ways to grieve and remember that suit you
- DIY or find someone who can
Free Gift #3– Valued at $35
When The Family Pet Dies: Teaching Our Children About Life And Death – Timeless techniques and wisdom for parents, teachers and guardians to help children deal with the loss of their pet. The loss of a much-loved family pet is often the first experience your children will have of death. This little book of wisdom will help you, help them through this often difficult situation.
- Learn how to talk to your children in a way that they will understand
- Find ways to involve your children
- Find a new level of emotional connection with your children
- Help them to deal with loss and grief in a positive way
Free Gift #4 – Valued at $19
When Your Pet Dies: What can you do with the ashes? – This is sometimes overlooked but very practical part of what to do after the passing of my pet.
- Discover some unique ideas for an ashes ceremony
- Learn about regulations or issues you need to consider
- Find out about the practicalities of releasing ashes
- Find out how to have your pet cremated, ways you can have the ashes stored
Free Gift #5 – Valued at $7 (But these true stories are simply priceless with the comfort and solace they provide)
The Proof You Want – Case Studies on Life After Death for Pets – Is there life after death? A perennial question. I have collated several verified personal stories of afterlife experiences with pets. Even if you are a skeptic, after reading these you won’t be.
- Learn what both doctors and spiritualists agree on
- Find peace and comfort knowing that life goes on and that you will meet again
- Learn about the spiritual purpose of our relationship with animals
- Find hope and happiness in life
Free Gift #6 – Valued at $67
Euthanasia – What you must know (Audio-MP3) – One of the most difficult decisions we, as animal lovers, may have to make is whether to euthanize a beloved pet, who is terminally ill. I share with you an indepth information that you must know when making your decision.
- Learn the pros and cons of euthanasia
- Consider some important spiritual perspectives
- Experience some comfort and clarity when making this difficult decision.
Download the Guide Today
The ebook will be instantly delivered as a PDF
|This is what you will receive today||Value||Your Cost|
|Heart & Soul Pet Loss Guide||$37.00||$37.00|
|Healing Meditation / Mantra MP3||$17.00||FREE|
|Online memorials ebook||$25.00||FREE|
|Teaching Kids about loss and death ebook||$25.00||FREE|
|What to do with the ashes ebook||$19.00||FREE|
|Pet Life After Death Case Studies report||$17.00||FREE|
|Euthanasia – What you must know MP3||$21.00||FREE|
It means a lot to me to be able to share some of my story with you, and to help you through this heart-breaking time.
I have spent well over 20 years gathering and developing the information in this guide and it can help you gain a lot of comfort and insight into these times of great loss.
Your heartache is no doubt strong. I know the way to ease this pain, the way to help your beloved pet physically and spiritually, before death AND after death, and the way to help you and your family find peace and meaning in this experience.
This is my wish for you and your pet—to find peace and meaning in death, life’s most incredible journey.
With peace and blessings
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P.P.S. If you are experiencing pain or grief, if you are feeling sadness, confusion or despair, then this package is especially for you to show you a healing way, to provide comfort for both you AND your pet – start the journey today.
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